Eulogy for Cindy

I am currently reading "The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings" by Amy Tan. Amy Tan is one of my favorite authors - and I love this book. As I was reading a eulogy she wrote/presented at the funeral of one of her best friends, it reminded me of this one that I presented for a co-worker of mine a few years ago. Cindy was my bosses secretary. Her death was sudden and unexpected. She was at work the day before. She complained of a headache, but nobody really thought much about it at the time. That night she had a stroke and died. Our boss was totally devastated and said she just couldn't speak at her funeral. She asked me if I would do it for her. I told her I would, since Cindy was a good friend of mine, and she often confided in me. This eulogy was also presented at a special remembrance service we had for her at work (she died close to the same time another co-worker died from cancer - so we held a memorial tribute to both of them).

Cindy Fong – Remembrances 11-03

We all wear many hats and play many different roles in life – from wife, to mother, and co-worker. We spend as much time with our work family as we do with our home family and the “at work” role is much different than our “at home: role. I am here to share what she meant to those of us who worked with her and shared her life.

Cindy had a wonderful sense of humor and loved to play jokes and tease her co-workers. One time she pulled out the ugliest looking doll I had ever seen – “the knuckle head doll”. She said that it belonged to her husband – but that it was OK if she brought it to work. It was one of the three stooges that talked when it was squeezed. The first time she had it talk – people came running over to her cubicle – because they couldn’t believe what they were hearing! We had lots of fun playing jokes on people with that doll – sending anonymous voice mail messages – or having it talk in the middle of a serious meeting! It was a sad day when she said that her husband wanted his doll back!

Cindy would often stop by to talk to me or vent her frustrations. She said she appreciated my calm demeanor, my philosophical attitude and ability to put things back into perspective for her. Sometimes, when I would be in a meeting in her bosses office, she would be creative in trying to get my attention by putting huge signs and post-its with arrows on her cubicle so that when I came out of the meeting – I would stop by and see her. Sometimes she would bribe me with candy – she always had a “private stash” of chocolate – she had the public candy – usually hard candy, that was for everybody else and then the private “special” candy reserved just for “me”.

Cindy always had a lot of unusual and interesting things in her cubicle – If I would comment on something – next thing I know – she would be giving me something similar as a gift. “I knew you would like this – or I saw this and it reminded me of you”

She was always worried about her job – and when the budget crisis hit she would come and want assurance that she wasn’t going to be laid off. Our office recently moved and the warehouse office staff moved with us. Because there was going to be some duplication of staff – we did a small re-organization of some of the office staff duties. I included her in the meeting to discuss the changes, since they would affect her. After the meeting she asked if she could meet with me privately. I had no idea why. What she said was not what I expected at all! She was worried that her primary duties were being delegated to other staff members – and what would she be doing? – and were we trying to get rid of her? – I thought she would be happy – relieved that she wouldn’t have to carry such a huge burden any more!

One time a group of us went to Old Town for lunch. On the way back, I made a comment that I would like to go to some of the shops, but that I never seemed to get around to it. She said that she would like to do that also, and that she would be glad to come with me sometime. Well, it was either too hot, too cold, or we were too busy. We never did go…

One of the cards she gave me had this book marker in it - that I think sums up her philosophy of life… (sorry, I will have to look for this).

One of the gifts that Cindy gave me was a wooden puzzle box (one that you have to figure out how to open). She said she had a hard time finding it for me. I have some of the items she gave me in it - including an antique chinese good luck coin in a red envelope that was distributed after her funeral.