I Feel Much Better Now That I Have Given Up Hope

This is a quote from Ashleigh Brilliant. I have several of his books, which are full of interesting philosophical sayings. I bought this book for my dad when he was dying of cancer - to hopefully take his mind off of things and maybe offer him a different perspective/humorous side of the difficult situation he was going through.

Sometimes it comes down to that. When things seem hopeless - just to give up and let things happen. Not get so bogged down in feeling sorry for yourself or stuck in the "why can't things be different" or "why did this have to happen to me" or "why am I going through this - what did I do to deserve this" syndromes.

This saying has become kind of a mantra of mine - a reminder to not get so hung up on things that happen. To lighten up a bit.

Strange - one of my employees gave me a bookmarker with this saying on it. She didn't know what it was - or who Ashleigh Brilliant was. But of course, I knew - which made the gift very special to me - since it seemed to come "out of the blue".

Maybe something about it - reminded her of me??? I wonder...

We think we are opaque - but we are really transparent!

I Can See Clearly Now...

One of my favorite songs is "I Can See Clearly Now". It is kind of a theme song to me. It seems to come on the radio when I am coming out of a difficult situation or am in the middle of one. It seems to give me hope, when things seem hopeless. It shows me and reminds me of "the light at the end of the tunnel".

It also reminds me of the Barbara Steisand movie - On a Clear Day (I can see forever).

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's going to be a bright, bright, sunshining day

Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skies

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for
It's going to be a bright, bright, sunshining day.

This song is the reason why my blog name is rainbow waterfall. The rainbow is a promise that things will get better. That nothing lasts forever.

Nothing Stays The Same

This one seems like it should be a "no brainer". Everyone knows that. Duh!

But sometimes when I'm in a rut or in a situation that I can't seem to get out of - it feels like I'm going to be stuck there forever.

I remember sitting in a conference dealing with a conflict between a trainee and a volunteer. I knew that the trainee would be moving on to another location in a couple of months, but the volunteer didn't know that. The volunteer thought she would be working with this person "forever" and the stress of their personality conflict was making her ill. She was ready to quit, even though she needed the "job" for the socialization and to help her feel needed and useful.

Some of the things I said during the conference were "hang in there" "things change" "nothing lasts forever" (easy to say to someone else). We worked on trying to resolve the issue and taking one day at a time. A few weeks later, the trainee moved on. In the meantime, the volunteer had hung in there. She later confided in me that she really took what I said about change and the situation had been much easier for her to deal with = knowing that it wasn't forever.

Some things we would like to last forever - but of course - something always happens to disrupt or change the situation. I have tried to internalize this philosophy and therefore not get upset when things = especially things that are out of my control - change. I know that it won't last forever. However, sometimes it is just too difficult to wait for the change - and I try make a move/change first.

Once I accepted that change is a natural part of life and to remind myself to remain flexible and open to the changes that take place - it is much less stressful to deal with things that pop-up. I try to let go and not control every situation so much.

I try to analyze whether it is something I have control over or not. If I do have control over it, I make adjustments as much as possible. If I don't have control over it, I try to accept it, and "go with the flow" and then maybe later change the parts that I do have control over.

One thing I know that I always have control over is my attitute and how I react to situations. Hopefully in a much more calm, accepting manner than I would have in the past.

One of my favorite songs is "Dust in the Wind". One of the phrases in it is "nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky"...

If you have a butterfly...

If you have a butterfly - and you let him go - if he comes back - he's yours - if he doesn't - he never was.

When I was in college, I lived in the dormatory. One of my neighbor's had a sign with this saying posted on her door. At the time I had broken up with my boyfriend, but I still wanted to be in the relationship. I was having a really hard time getting over it.

This saying really helped me to let go and wait and see what happened. It helped me get over my obsession with something that apparently wasn't meant to be - but I really wanted it to be and I was hanging on as hard as I could. It was all a waste of time and energy.

I finally let the butterfly go - and he never came back to me...

The lesson learned was to try not to hold on to something that is gone/done/finished. I have tried to "let go" sooner. Letting things flow my naturally.

How many butterflies come back? I suspect that it is none. At least that has been the experience of my life. The butterflies light for a moment - and then they are gone - forever.

One of my favorite movies is "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" and it has a couple of butterfly scenes in it. A reminder to savor the butterfly moments - since you never know how long they will last.

I try to savor the butterfly moments of my life. At least I have the memory of them...

I'm a Tumbleweed

What kind of plant are you?

Are you a tree? - solid, unmoving, stable, with deep roots?

I am a tumbleweed. I often joke, when I find myself once again, rolling along with the wind - moving on to the next experience in my life ... No deep roots roots for me - I just go wherever the wind blows me!

When I lost my house due to a series of situations - I said to myself "The only way God could get me to move, is to take my house away from me" "Now I have nothing to hold me here"

I was open to change. I became open to new experiences. Not to say that it wasn't difficult, but as a result, it is much easier for me now to - move on - when it becomes obvious that my roots are going too deep...and I need to be shaken out of my rut.

This is the End

One of the quotes that seems to have stuck with me through the years is...

"This is the end, it will be interesting to see what happens". I have always been an avid reader, and I believe this quote is from the book, "The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit".

It is something I always say to myself whenever I step into the void - the great unknown. Whenever I take a risk, or try something new - this is my thought. And you know what? The outcome is always interesting.

To me this quote is about endings and beginnings...Growth...stepping out of my comfort zone.

It seems to help me not be afraid of leaving my comfort zone. It gives me a different perspective of the situation, whether it is a new job, a decision to get married, to move, to buy a house - whatever. Both major and minor decisions.

Meditating on it makes me stop to reflect on where I've been, and where I'm going.

My Life is a Jigsaw Puzzle

When I think back on my life and the path that it has taken - it appears to me that it is like a jigsaw puzzle. When I have to face a particularly difficult period in my life, it is easy to get caught up in the emotion and the "poor me" syndrome that often accompanies such trials. While going through them - I often wonder why I have to deal with it and want it to be over with.

Later in looking back at the situation, when I am not in the middle of it, I can see the "bigger picture" a little bit clearer. A work in progress. I can see that each event in my life follows a pattern, so that when all the pieces fit together, I can see how that situation fits into the pattern of my life.

Of course, it doesn't make going through the "unknown" any easier, but if I think about it at the time, it does make me take a deep breath, and let go and let things happen and unfold a little bit easier. That everything will be OK in the end, and that there is a reason why I am going through this difficult period.

I have observed that events in my life seem to fit into a sequence. I wouldn't be able to do what I am doing now, if I hadn't gone though a difficult situation. I also wouldn't have as deep an appreciation for what I have now. I have a different perspective and can be more empathetic to others who are going through similar situations - and can offer them encouragement.

The jigsaw puzzle of my life is not completed, but I trust, that when my life is over, that there will not be any missing pieces.

The Pollyanna Effect

When I was a kid, my favorite actress was Haley Mills. I loved all her movies and couldn't get enough of them. One of the best was Pollyanna. I still watch this movie about once a year, just to refresh my memory. Every time I see it, I get something new out of it. It never gets old to me. The movie had more of an influence on me than I realized at the time.

The "glad game" that she played in the film is what I am referring to as the "Pollyanna Effect". I frequently find myself saying the phrase "I'm glad" about this or that. When I consciously catch myself saying it I say, "Aha! There it is again - the "Pollyanna Effect."

The "glad game" is something that is an integral part of my life and philosophy. That no matter what happens - there is always something else that is worse! It makes me stop and think when negative thinking threatens to "take over" my mind - to try to find something positive out of something that would otherwise be negative.

Grow Where You're Planted

I was recently told by a former employee that this saying, which apparently was in my office, had a huge influence on her. To be honest, I don't remember it - I don't have it in my office now. I would have to look through my things to find it. I don't know if it is on something that someone gave me as a gift, and I kept in my office or what?? It had totally slipped out of my mind, until she reminded me of it.

I was happy to hear however, that something that I had done had a positive influence on this person. She said she felt like it reflected the the philosophy of life that she had observed in me (kind of like when life hands you lemons, make lemonade). This person said that they have tried to follow the philosphy that this saying represents.

Which just goes to show, that you never know the effect what you say or do has on another person - or what they will remember about you. Thankfully, it was a positive thing in this instance. Strange the things that people remember about me!

Perspectives

I never really thought too much about perspective other than as an art technique to make pictures look more realistic. I showed a video called Perspectives as an inservice training for my employees one day and it made a lasting impression on me.

The gist of the film was that several people can see the same object or experience the same event, but they will all see it with "different" eyes or emotions based on many different factors. Their past experience with that object/event, their physical orientation to the object/event etc.

Since watching the film, I try to look at myself/people/events from multiple perspectives.

Myself:

How do I feel/look/seem to myself
How do I think others perceive how I look/my actions etc. Sometimes I might ask them - or listen carefully to their conversations with me to glean information about how they perceive me.

Others:

How do I see that person
How do others see that person

Events:

If it involves me - How did I react to it? I try to analyze why I reacted that way. How did others see it - I ask them, or listen to their conversations..

In conflict - I try to hear all sides of the story - see the big picture before I draw a conclusion. Sometimes there is missing information - and gaps. Like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

A friend shared with me about the Jahari Window - I think that is one way of explaining/defining how I view things.

Often, especially before making major decisions, I try to analyze the issue or problem from different perpectives before acting on it.

GREEN BLOG

Green Blog will be used to post my philosophy about whatever is on my mind at the time. Maybe one advantage of getting older - is that past acquaintances occasionally remind me of how I have influenced them based on either something I said or something that I had posted in my office.

In thinking about it, I would like to share some of them in hopes that they maybe provide inspiration to someone else. The postings will probably be sporatic, but I will try to keep it up. It seems like I have good intentions - but then "life" gets in the way and I can't seem to find the time or motivation to keep it up.

The postings are from my perspective and are my opinion of course.

I have a couple fresh in my mind so will start with them...